A little poem about 30 million dollars in gold
by Steven Fies
Here is my story and it goes like this
A bunch of old cowboys found some serious shit!
To this day it is yet to be found
There's 30 million dollars still buried in the ground
It all started back in 1817
When the the men owned the guns and the women still cleaned
There was a prominent man named Thomas J. Beale
And if this is all true he made quite the steal
Him and his boys went to old New Mexico
They had high hopes of hunting buffalo
So one day they were out riding on their horses
And one of the men was overcome by bowel forces
He went over to a bush to relive his extra weight
And said, "Oh shit guys, Here's a gold vein!"
It took them two years, but by the year 1819
They had enough gold that they knew people would be fighting
over who gets what and what goes where
so they went and consulted the prince of bel air!
Just kidding, but they did make a dubious plan
To wheel all the gold back in a long caravan
Could you believe they took it all back to Virginia?
If you tried that, I'd say, "You don't have it in ya!"
It took them two shipments, and much nerve to boot
But fuckin a' guys, that's a lot of serious loot!
So now I'm gonna talk about how Robert Morris came into play,
He was Beale's go to guy when they needed to go away
What I mean is that a third shipment still was waiting
And meanwhile Morris needed to be trusted to watch The Captivating
So Beale and his men gave Morris a strongbox
He was told to not open it till 10 years had balked
their return to good old Virginia
Then he could try his luck with the cryptosystems
In fact he waited a while to decode the letters
Turns out he waited 13 years the better
He became obsessed with the very hidden treasure
And spent the rest of his life trying to get to this pleasure
But his time came and so he passed the troubles on
To a man named Ward who just happen to stumble upon
the answer to one of the unsolvable notes
The Declaration of Independence proved a key for such a tote
A book cipher it was, matching numbers to certain words
Then writing a bunch of numbers almost as random as the birds
But somehow Ward cracked this, and was so inspired
to continue his search for the gold and sapphires
(Oh did I forget to mention there were jewels?
Now you can understand the drive behind these two
To solve the mystery and get rich quick
Unfortunately as we know fate isn't so slick)
Ward got fed up with tryin to crack that shit
That he made it public and sold his information on pamphlets
He blamed his financial troubles on this little game
To find the Pirates' treasure and call it a day
Some people thought they'd figured out the code, with delusion
And accordingly their digging sites showed no conclusion
Even through the 20th century Virginia hillsides were dug up
But it all proved to be a lot of effort for nothin
In 1968 the Beale Cypher Association was founded
To figure out as a group where the gold is grounded
Still to this day no real translation has been found
But the cryptographic schemes in the letters show just how
to find the gold, what place we should dig!
Nah--In my opinion it's a bunch of bullshit
A hoax has been suggested many a time before
And maybe we should even consider Ward to be a whore
For if he fabricated the whole mess,
and sold the pamphelts for some financial success
Then indeed he's a no good tramp,
who belongs with the Tupac Lives! and Amityville camps,
Some evidence to boot I will give as follows,
It turns out there are inconsistencies that Ward had swallowed
The first one has to do with the hotel Morris owned
Not till 1823 did he actually call it his own
But in a supposed letter from Morris to Ward
He claims he met Beale there in 18-and-a-score
Another problem with all this mess
Is more anachronism, and here I'll confess:
In 1822 Beale wrote a note with the word 'stampede',
But that word wasn't even IN the mainstream
until 1844, where it was taken from the Spanish,
their version was estampeda, so it seems quite frantic
that Beale would use a word not even from his time,
Just another hint that this all may be crime.
What's even more than that, there's no proof of Beale's existence.
No records can trace his so called persistence.
Now to put the icing on the cake, the original papers are lost!
Yes, they were 'burned in a fire' according to Ward's verbal exhaust
So at this point in time Ward's believed to be a hoax
There is plenty of evidence to show he's a joke
His story may have even come from Edgar Allen Poe
Who wrote "The Gold Bug" and inspired him so
But if this isn't a hoax...well what do you think?
Is cracking the code worth thirty million of chink-chink?
Maybe you should spend some time deciphering the papers
Because you never know, you could become greater
than any man alive, than any non-believer,
Just beware of mother nature's temptations, and don't try to deceive
Click Here for a copy of
the Beale Papers